Thursday, 14 July 2005

I'm not looking for 4 Stars, but some food might work

So yeah, we had to evacuate for Hurricane Dennis. I don't get how I can live away from the Land of Walmart for three years, to get my *dream* assignment.... And the fuckin beaches are closed because of sharks and we have to go live in another hotel because there's a hurricane?

Is it ME, or Memorex?

Once again, I am wondering WHAT THE FUCK?!?

Just go with it -- take it in stride. Adapt and overcome. The military is always preaching to you to be able to "do more with less" and all that. It took me a WHILE to figure it out, but I got it. I GOT IT, DAMMIT. When, however, is anyone ELSE going to get with the program so that I don't feel so, so, soooo - what-do-you-call-it? STUPID? TAKEN? What.... I must be playing the game with different rules.

I am an only child, so whenever I went to someone's house to sleep-over, I was excited. The board games would come out, and I, naturally, would play by the written rules. These ideas were always squashed by the host family with rules of their own. I would struggle to understand, lose, and be made fun-of because, well, I was an outsider on their turf. So where are the rules?

Ok, OK! Jesus.

We went to St. Augustine. It was cool. HOWEVER, it was time to leave.

All I want is some food. I hate breakfast, but almost everyone else LOVES it, so (play the rules, Allison, play the rules), I go with it. There's IHOP and Denny's. It's not rocket science going to these places. You don't go to fuckin McDonald's and hope that there's some crazy new meal that's going to take you to places you've never been.

Here's an aside: When I am hungry like this, I am mean. I NEED to eat. At this point, a poop sandwich sounds delicious, and frankly, I couldn't care LESS where we go - as long as it's hot and fast. Here's another aside that most people will say TMI.... I like my man that way, too. Hehe.

Ok, OK! So we go to Denny's. It's actually difficult to find it. I'm not that retarded, but there's signs everywhere for it, but the actual restaurant is IN the hotel.... *sigh*

When we walk in, I should have noticed the responses from the others. Should have. Every situation gives a vibe. I am un-lucky enough to notice that vibe. It was a vibe of doom. It's like walking into the Animal Shelter. You know you want a dog, but you can only take one, MAYBE, and the other animals are staring at you, longingly, wondering if he/she/it is good enough for you. As you walk past the cages, (or booths in St. Augustine's Denny's), there is an audible sigh from the remainders. Apparently those people that were sitting in Denny's weren't sighing from the lack of want, but merely sighing from the lack that oh-my-god-someone-else-is-stupid-enough-to-come-here sigh. But I was strangely optimistic. I needed some food, GODDAMMIT.

How do I possibly tell you how awful it was?

Ok, OK. So yeah, the restaurant was trashed. The restrooms were pretty funky. There was gum on the floor (remind me to tell you about Sara Coleman - and YEAH, I am using her real name). The hostess was uninviting and the waitress was absent for at least 10 minutes for drinks. She was so absent, in fact, that I knew what I wanted to order by the time she came to the table. That's monumentous, by the way.... So we order.

Ten more minutes. And I am NOT exaggerating. I love to exaggerate, however, this was fucked up.

Oh, and no Apple Juice for the kid. No classy turn-color-glasses either -- that they advertise eveywhere, thank you.

Ok, OK.... I know I am droning on. Here's the skinny:

60 Minutes. I should call Wally Schaffer. We waited 60 minutes for eggs and pancakes. My LORD, I could have done that with my lighter and shower curtain at the Comfort Inn Suite. Really now~

We walked out. Had an iced tea and a coffee from Denny's and walked out. Man, that's sad.

I always felt bad for the servers at Denny's because I would never want to go to my high school reunion and tell people that I was a waitress at Denny's. I think that was one of the motivating factors for my joining and staying in the Air Force. Denny's isn't THAT bad, but, I would never want to admit that I worked there **Mind you I am 34 with 3 kids and a career**

Ok, OK... So we left. And my husband called to complain.

Here's my question.

The District Manager called me back to "forgive the situation" and he hopes that we will return to Denny's for another meal. Ok, this is where I am like WHATTHEFUCK?!?

Everyone KNOWS that Denny's is DENNY'S fer godssake. I know that my husband complained, but WHAT? I am going to return to Denny's and have a 5 Star meal?

Baked Meatloaf with Brown Gravy -- only vailable to Senior Citizens before 5PM?

What are they going to do? We complained because we weren't fed, and TRUST ME, we waited for that food. I couldn't see straight, I was so hungry. But to not give us anything after an HOUR?

Ok. Denny's in Ft. Walton is awesome. I'll go there, but.... When you see people looking at you sympathetically going into a restaurant? It's probably the hunger in their eyes, wishing they could gnaw on that chicken bone the voo-doo lady threw in the gutter.

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